The Rebellion took to the skies today, briefly, as it attempted to take a stand against the growing power of the Empire. The experimental X-wing fighter disintegrated seconds after liftoff, crushing the hopes of the outlying planets as well as rebel Core Worlds. Darth Vader was issued a press release shortly afterwards, saying, “Evil will always triumph over good, because good is stupid.”

In other news, rumors that the Empire has acquired plans for a planet sized battle station have been brushed off by the government of Alderaan, the Royal House of Organa. The likelihood of the Empire being able to complete such a massive construction project without notice seems slim…