Balad, Iraq - Blackhawks rained down on suspected a Al Qaeda suspect as they attempted to carry out their malicious plot to urinate on local crops.

Col. Jackson of the 1st Infantry Division said this, “It is a damn good thing we caught this guy in the act. He could have pissed on 3, maybe 4 more turnips had we not caught him…not that the Iraqis would ever know the difference.”

Urinalysis results returned were declared as “Smelling of asparagus”.